If you are more of a listening person, please find the audio version of the article attached above!
When a Nigerian does something typical, we say ‘that is the Nigerian mentality’. I think this statement in itself has given room for so many excesses to be very honest. We have found a way to accept so much nonsense in the name of ‘Nigerian mentality’ and some of these, if not most, are so backward and I am like how can that be the mentality? How can that be the accepted standard of things? How are we letting these things get embedded in our culture? How are we teaching our children that these things are okay?
On a good day, one would probably see most of these things being displayed in the society.
Let’s dig in, shall we?
- A lady at 30 that is not married has failed – The most popular one and by far the most hilarious and annoying at the same time. How can a set of people get to judge if a human being is successful or not based on the marital status? Since when did we become God, the giver of husbands? A woman that would be doing great, breaking boundaries and rising higher day by day is seen by the majority as a failed woman. No matter the level of success she attains, if she doesn’t have a big rock sitting on the marriage finger, ah she is a big failure Guess what? You see that woman that gave birth to her is a bigger failure because she is now God that gives husbands as well. She has them stored somewhere and she will release them as she pleases. Smh! To the society, an unmarried woman is probably a witch chasing everyone away and is in urgent need of deliverance because she is 30 and doing well. We need to reduce the pressure on young women trying to do well for themselves while waiting for their God sent partners. Please don’t push anybody into anything you won’t survive with them. Pray for them from a genuine heart and let God do His thing. Or show us where the husband market is yeah.
- A Christian who doesn’t go to church can’t make heaven – NEWS FLASH!! If you don’t attend church in Nigeria (for whatever reason), you are a big sinner according to the self-proclaimed gods. Your sin is gigantic, and you are probably going to hell! Like how do we think of these things? How do we arrive at such conclusions? This Coronavirus has probably opened the eyes of so many. So, all of us that can’t go to church like this, we have sinned abi? We need to calm down small ehn.
- African time – Ahhh this one probably vexes me the most and people have carried it out of the country. I was the President of the Nigerian Students Society in my university in Chester, UK and African time followed people to another man’s country. See ehn, in some people’s head, to make a statement at an event, if you want to be considered somebody, you can’t be punctual for any event. People must wait for you, if not, it can’t work. Like, for real? It is already okay for people to be late for anything because of African time?. Really? Event planners have become accustomed to it, so much so that they give such allowance and end up starting their events late. I mean we can do better. This is the time for the event, event planners start on time, guests, be punctual so we can all go home and sleep please!
- A childless woman has failed/You NEED a male child – You see, after getting married, your pressure upgrades. It is now time to give birth. It is pressure to pressure because of the Nigerian Mentality. If you don’t give your husband a child, that is a big failure because you know women have a bag in their abdomen where they store babies and push out at will. We need to calm down. The most annoying thing is that they never think there might be a problem with the husband. Let’s say you successfully give birth to like 2 children, it is not enough until you give birth to the one with a penis because that penis is the definition of a successful mother. Biologically, the man’s sperm decides the sex of the child no?! So why does the woman bear the blame for having female children? Why don’t you leave the child giving to God whose timing is always perfect? The pressure on a woman to do this and to do that is too much and it needs to be reduced. Feel free to pray for someone believing for the fruit of the womb. Don’t add to people’s problems Nobody is God. Pray for people, don’t ask unnecessary questions, and most importantly know your place!
Using ‘Nigerian Mentality’ to be inhumane needs to stop.
Stay safe and stay blessed!
To Be Continued…
Afoma and Queen Natalia